Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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