Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize