Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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