i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
