you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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