I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
