Dual....:-)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
