READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
