I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
