well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
