Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
