My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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