his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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