You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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