Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
