Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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