i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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