Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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