I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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