Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
