i was born a porn star she said
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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