Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
