Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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