If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize