got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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