well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
