Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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