well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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