He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
