The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
