your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
