I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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