was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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