Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
