It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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