its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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