he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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