When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
