We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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