Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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