You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
