It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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