Tell her she can't have a vagina
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
