So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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