That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
