She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
