love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
thus making me awesome and them whores
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
