This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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