she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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