Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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