Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
