she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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