Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
