a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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