KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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