i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize