My boss' voice literally gives me gas
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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