I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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