Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
