You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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