Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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